I can’t think of a witty title

Right now, I’m annoyed with god or whoever runs things in the universe.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why are some people evil?

Why do some people suffer while others lounge in luxury?

Why do I think about these things so much?

What I do know is that it is not fair that two of my very good friends have very bad cancer.  It isn’t fair that babies and kids at the hospital where I work have cancer.

It isn’t fair that some babies never make it to their first birthday.  Do you know how many babies die before 12 months of age in Memphis? Too many.  The infant mortality rate in parts of Memphis is 19 deaths per 1,000 live births.  A baby has a better chance of survival being born on the Gaza Strip or Sri Lanka than Memphis.  Back in college, I helped run a group called SCIPE (Grinnell College Student Campaign for Increased Political Engagement).  We once invited experts on healthcare to come to campus and debate whether the US would benefit from universal healthcare.  While doing background research I learned the dirty secret of Memphis, an infant mortality rate that is higher than many “developing countries”.  I was furious and felt guilty that something so easily preventable was happening in “my” city.  I don’t know why I felt guilty as an 18 year old college student nearly 1,000 miles from Memphis but I did.

It isn’t fair that the USA has spent god knows how many billion dollars bombing civilians.  It isn’t fair that the civilians are called “collateral damage”.

Every time someone tells me that some tragedy is “part of the divine plan” I want to meet the maker of this “plan” and ask him/her/it/they if the suffering of one baby or one family or one nation is really worth it.  Does everything have to balance?  Why can’t good things happen to good people?  Why can’t “bad people” (I’m not sure anyone is ever fully “bad” or “evil”) change for the better?

Most importantly to me, what can I do to make things better?

I know I won’t ever give up.  That is just the way I am.  I’ll keep repeating Gandhi, “Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it” even when it seems meaningless.

The good news is that these questions have been plaguing me for years, preventing me from ever being too comfortable.  Always forcing me to try to change things in any way I can.